
photo credit: Michelle Brea
When he walks into the room, you’ll notice his smiling eyes and his seemingly confident stride. He is a good-looking young man who can carry his own.
He can engage you in great conversation and easily charm you with his wit. He is very passionate about his job and it’s not by sheer luck that he earns a 6-digit income from it every month.
For me, he was a success. He had every reason to be confident.
“But I am just not good enough,” he said. He told me how shies away from the women he’s attracted to because he feels he doesn’t deserve them. “They’re too good for me.”
And so he remains single. Miserably.
He continues his self-deprecating dialogue. “I don’t have my own house, I don’t have a car, I’m far from wealthy….”
He also didn’t have a college degree. And though he did not say it, I’m sure he considers that as one of his perceived failures too.
“Are you happy with your job?” I asked him.
“Yes.”
“Do you feel fulfilled?”
“Absolutely.”
“Is that what you’ve always wanted to do?”
“No doubt about it.”
“Then you should be proud of yourself for all you’ve accomplished!” I told him.
Despite all his perceived setbacks, he was living the life he wanted. But as long as he defined success based on material indicators or standards set by other people, he will never have confidence in himself.
I used to have low self-esteem too
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