If you want to start creating your success today, there is one very important thing you need to do.

If you can do this, it can spell the difference between a life of continuous success and a life of constant regrets.

But first let me tell you a story about…

The Deliberate Underachiever

The Deliberate Underachiever wasn’t really a loser in the beginning.

In fact, she always won everything.

She was so confident about herself and her capabilities that the moment she decided to undertake something, whether it was a competition, a project or a mission, she always knew she would be success. And she always was.

But she soon found out that being successful wasn’t great as she thought it would be.

Although she was happy about her successes, other people were not happy for her. They hated her for being successful. They rejected her and put her down.

This made her so sad that she made a decision, from then on she would deliberately be an underachiever.

“It’s okay if I don’t achieve my goals anymore,” she thought. “At least I won’t be attracting so much attention and criticism. People won’t hate me and I’ll just be a regular person just like everyone else.”

So she coursed through life like a wallflower. Always staying at the sidelines and never taking the lead. But she wasn’t happy because she knew she could achieve something greater.

Deep inside, she knew she was meant to be a success.

Years later, the Deliberate Underachiever realized she wanted to change her life. She was no longer going to think about what other people would say. This time she wanted to go after her goals and do it for herself.

But whenever she tried to do something, she was haunted by doubt and fear.

The Underachiever mindset had gotten a good grip on her and now she lacked confidence in herself.

At the back of her mind, a voice taunted her, “Are you sure you want to do this? What if the past happened again?”

Are you a Deliberate Underachiever? Are you haunted by past experiences that made you think you don’t deserve to be a success?

I know I was.

But if I wanted to move on, I needed to remind myself that I deserve to a be a success.

You deserve to be a success.

And if you want to start creating your success, now is the best time to do it.

All you need to do is start with one step. I’m not saying it’s simple, because it may not be for a lot of people. But if you really want to change your life then it’s a challenge you need to overcome:

Let go of your past.

Werner Erhard put it this way:

“Create your future from your future.”

Consider this, when you create your future from your future, you’ve got a clean slate.

But more importantly, you can be anybody you want and you can achieve as much success as you want.

Your imagination and your commitment to action are the only limits.

Free yourself from your past because if you really think about it, it no longer exists. It’s gone and it doesn’t really matter. You’re the only one who keeps recalling it and making it come back.

What matters more is what you do right now, today.

Achieving success means you need to move forward and you can’t do that if you keep on stepping back.

So let go of past regrets and focus on the future possibilities.

Whenever you find yourself lamenting about what you did wrong or what you didn’t do, flip your thoughts:

Think about what you can do right, and what you can do right now.

Be positive and be proactive.

Start creating your success today.

Have you let go of your past?

“Are you happy?” I asked a friend who was recently receiving so much accolades for her various achievements.

“I’m okay,” she said. “I am thankful for the awards and recognition. But I feel tired because of all the work. And there is still so much I want to do: I want to study, I want to make movies, I want to teach…”

“Then why don’t you?”

“I don’t have a choice. I have to work and I just don’t have the time.”

The work trap: a happiness zapper

It’s the all too familiar work trap we all get into one time or another and, more often than not, it’s zapping our happiness.

Liz Strauss recently wrote a post about work / life balance and a study about how people spend most of their time. And the findings indicate that most people spend their waking hours at work.

If you love your job, then good for you.

But if you don’t, then what an unhappy situation that would be

I wish I could say “Quit your damn job and do what makes you happy. Don’t worry, the money will follow.”

In most cases, this is easier said than done because not everyone can take that risk.

But does that mean we’re stuck and we don’t have a choice?

It doesn’t.

Because we are in charge of our own happiness and we can choose to be happy if we want to.

2 steps to happiness

Whenever I get into a slump, I follow these two steps to make me happy:

1. Make a simple happy list.

List down all the simple things you do that make you happy. Whether it’s writing in your journal, getting a massage, reading a book, blogging or chilling out to your favorite tunes, think about all those things that instantly pick you up.

You can make a big list too outlining all the grand things that you want to do like taking that backpacking trip or publishing a book. But a simple happy list is good for starters then just work your way up the list as you go along.

2. Do one happy thing everyday.

Pick just one happy thing from your list and make time to do it every day. Even if you’re the type who runs on a tight schedule, make sure to set aside time for your “happy thing.” Block it in your daily schedule and consider it like you would a business appointment. Remember you are entitled to your own happy time as much as anyone else.

When you’re ready, move on to the next item on your happy list until you’ve run through all of them. When you’re done, make a new one!

Of the two steps, this is the most important one because no matter how long your happy list is, if you don’t actually make the time to do any of them, it won’t make a difference.

A note about “I don’t have the time” excuse: We all have enough time, we just choose to spend it on other things that we think are important to us.

A bonus tip

A quick way to shift to happy mode: SMILE.

I know it may feel awkward or silly to just smile for no reason.

But just try it, smile and see if you don’t feel a bit better.

I find it hard to feel bad when I’m smiling.

What’s in your happy list?

If you had a choice between pursuing your passion and getting a job with a steady paycheck, which one would you choose?

After I spoke to a room full of students in a career talk session months ago, one of them asked: “How do I pursue my passion if it is deemed an unprofitable career?”

The young girl said she wanted to be a theater actress. But her parents want her to study nursing, to go abroad as a caregiver and to earn dollars she could send back home.

She was still in high school and her parents are the ones spending to send her to college so “disobeying” their wishes was something she said she could not do.

But what about her dream of becoming a theater actress?

Remember how we were dreamers?

Photo by kcc_10

When we were kids, dreaming and having an ambition was an easy thing.

“What do you want to be when you grow up?” somebody asks.

And we would just say it out loud. “I want to be a doctor!” “I want to be a lawyer!” “I want to be a ballerina!” “I want to be a movie star!”

We say it with certainty, fully believing that our dreams would come true someday.

But the sad thing is, when we grow older, we suddenly become aware of the harsh realities of life.

• Wealth versus poverty.
• Being ambitious versus being practical.
• Pursuing your passion in life versus having a real job.

More often than not, being practical and getting a real job wins over pursuing our dreams and our passions.

We are told that we need to have real jobs that can put clothes on our backs, a roof over our heads and food on the table.

We are told that it would be stupid to pursue something just because we want to especially if there is no salary or profit guaranteed.

Bottom line: We need to earn money to survive.

We see many of them: people who jump onto the wheel and get stuck in jobs they don’t even like doing because they need to earn money to pay the bills.

They comfort themselves saying, “It’s okay. I’ll get to do what I want someday.”

But when will that someday come?

For passion and money

Photo by Placebo Effect

One of the best pieces of advice I picked up from reading self-development books is this:

Find out what your passion is and devote your life to make a living out of it.

Oprah loved talking to people and she was real good at it. How did she make a living out of the one thing she loved to do? Have her own talk show.

Sounds simple and easy? Not really.

Before Oprah got her own talk show she first became a host for a radio talk show in Nashville in 1971.

Two years later, she became a TV correspondent and co-anchor for the local news program.

Three years later, she moved to Baltimore and became an anchor for the local 6 o’ clock news.

Two years later, she became a co-host for the local talk show.

Finally, seven years later, she moved to Chicago which became the birthplace and permanent home of “The Oprah Winfrey show.”

Add up all the years together and you’ll see that that it took Oprah 14 years to achieve the ultimate dream.

Since then she had expanded her passion to become a television pioneer, a magazine founder, an actress, and an online leader. On top of that she also became a TV and radio programmer launching shows that help change people lives.

But more than being one of the wealthiest women in the world, her biggest achievement was becoming a living angel extending helping hands to millions of people around the world.

All because she did not choose between her passion and a paycheck.

She acted to make her passion the source for her paychecks.

So how do you do this?

Photo by Altus

This is a process I’m going through myself. And to illustrate the steps below, I will be giving my own examples. Normally, these questions would trigger pages and pages of writing in my journal but I’ll just be giving you the condensed answers below.

1. Find out what you are passionate about.

This is a very important step because your passion will guide you to the path you need to take. There is a good list of questions on how to find your passion, but here are a couple to get you started:

Q: What excites you?

A: I get excited when it comes to the area of personal development. You can set me loose in a humongous bookstore, but you’ll only find me in the self help section. The books there are treasures for me because I consider myself a student of life and a work in progress.

Q: What do you love to do?

A: I love reading personal growth books. I love writing in my journal. These two loves have been part of me as far back as I could remember. But I also discovered as I was growing up that I love teaching, conducting speeches and facilitating seminars. In high school, I remember some of us were given the opportunity to be teachers for a day and I loved it immensely. I also loved it when we had public speaking exercises in class and I always chose inspirational pieces from my favorite authors.

Q: What are you good at?

A: I consider writing and speaking as my primary strengths.

Q: If you did not need to earn money for a living, what would you do?

A: I would establish an organization that promotes self-development. Start my own lifestyle show. Write an inspirational and motivational book. My friends say my optimism is inspiring to them. And I consider that one of the greatest compliments I have ever received. I want to inspire and empower people to pursue a passionate and positive life.

Q: What is that one thing that you love to do that you are willing to do it for free?

A: A few months ago, I was invited by my former high school to be part of a career talk session. I wasn’t paid a single cent but I loved every minute of it! Given the chance, I would volunteer again for free.

Take the time to answer these questions for yourself if you still haven’t found your passion or when you need to re-focus your passion.

Remember that when you do this, you have to focus on yourself. This is the time to shut out other people who tell you what to do. Believe in the power of possibilities. Replace thoughts like “I can’t do this” or “This is simply not possible” to ” I can do this” and “If I act, anything is possible.”

2. Brainstorm ways you can make a living out of your passion.

Now this is a challenging part because it’s often easier to just think about the usual ways to earn a living like getting a 9 – 5 desk job. Not to mention, easier to implement too.

But remember this, while changing your life for the better means you need to take a huge step forward, it also means you will get a huge reward in the end too: a full life lived with passion and purpose.

When you start thinking of the ways to earn money from your passion, connect it with the things you love to do.

If one thing doesn’t work out, open your mind to other possibilities. For every single thing that doesn’t work out, there has got to be a dozen doors opening up for you. You just have to open your eyes wide so you can see them.

Remember too that it has to be something that feels natural to you. Because if it doesn’t, then it probably means it’s not what you should be doing in the first place.

A personal example: I wanted to establish a career on television and dreamed of making it big just like Oprah. I thought it would be cool to follow her path and be a news anchor first. So I took action, I applied believing it was the one for me without really thinking if it was the right path to take.

But the moment I started my audition and faced the camera, I felt like fish out of water. It all seemed so unnatural to me. I was made to annotate a video footage taken of soldiers engaged in warfare and I went blank.

All the while I was thinking: “What are you doing auditioning for a news anchor position? You don’t read the news. You don’t like news!”

Who was I kidding? I didn’t like covering stories that dealt with death, war, crime, politics, corruption and all the negative things you can come up with. Yet there I was putting myself on the spot.

Later on, I realized, I mixed up making it big with making a difference.

Being on TV sure gives me a shot at fame but that is not the only way I can pursue my passion.

So what other doors could open for me?

Blogging because it comes so naturally for me. It’s just like writing in my journal only that you get to read it.

How will I make a living out of it?

By making my blog an income earner. And if you’ve been around the blogosphere long enough, you’ll know of those people who are making a steady income off their blogs. I’m just taking baby steps but that is a path I’m exploring now.

Another option is becoming a professional motivational speaker. Judging from the career talk experience I mentioned above, it was definitely something I’m all fired up about. In the future, I’d like to expand it by actually conducting seminars and workshops that would not be just about speaking and motivating people but real doing and moving people to take action and see results.

I’m sure there other ways I can explore my passion. (If you’ve got suggestions, I would appreciate them too.) But these are the doors I’d like to enter now. If and when I do close them, I’ll just move forward and open another.

3. Make a plan based on your answers in number 2.

Take it easy and just explore one thing at a time, one step at a time, one day at a time. Remember that planning to perfection may tire you out and get you nowhere. So the best way to go is, make a simple plan and work on it right away.

For example, I’m focusing on blogging and making my blog an income earner. So my basic plan would be like this:

Phase 1:

1. Determine the focus topics of my blog.
2. List down possible articles.
3. Pick one topic and write about it.
4. Publish on blog.
5. Repeat letter b to d.

Phase 2:

1. Get traffic to my blog.
2. Find advertisers.
3. Set up income streams on my blog.

Of course, each step is composed of more micro-steps but by just outlining the basic action plan, I already have a good idea of what I need to do to get started.

4. Act on your plan! Now!

Once you’ve got your basic plan, act on the first thing right away. If possible, right now!

Since I decided to relaunch this blog, I have been challenging myself to publish at least one blog post a week. One seems like an awfully low number but right now, it is the most realistic number for me. Once I get the hang of things, I will raise the bar higher and challenge myself to post more frequently.

Right now, what matters to me is I write posts that are easy to understand as well as pleasant to read. More than meeting a weekly quota, I want to post meaningful and valuable entries that would make a difference to you.

Sometimes, I hit a brain slump and I can’t seem to process ideas in my head

Sometimes I get a motivation slump and I just can’t move myself to write.

But one thing’s for sure: I just keep trying and doing it until I get it done.

After I’ve achieved my goals for this blog, then it would be time to expand and reach for bigger goals.

What if….?

You’re really running in a rat race and you can’t afford to stop now or else you’ll be in debt.

You have a family to support and children to feed .

You have no capacity to support yourself yet like the student I mentioned in the beginning of this post.

Are you in a dead end and you have absolutely no choice but to stay where you are?

Only if you choose to.

I believe that in every situation, everyone has a choice. Sometimes we just don’t think we have a choice because the other options are often harder and riskier to take than others,

I am married with two kids and I work in a regular job.

I could either stay in my regular job and benefit from the steady income it would give me or I could just drop everything and plug away at my blog hoping it will bring in the profits fast enough.

Of course, the second option sounds stupid and impractical because I have a family to support but it doesn’t mean I should stay stuck.

The best thing to do: maintain my current job and set aside time to work on my passion project. Until such time that my passion already brings me the paychecks enough so I can quit my regular job.

Sounds hard? Maybe. Workable? Definitely!

I would give the same advice to our confused student. Follow your parents and take the course they want you to. But find ways to explore your passion on the side. Join theater groups, undergo theater training or perform in local plays. When you reach a point that you can make a living out of your passion career, devote your whole life to it and give up everything else.

Re-frame your thinking about your current situation.

Rather than seeing challenges as obstacles, look at them as stepping stones.

It means you have to work harder and manage your time smarter, but when you’re finally living the life of your dreams, you’d know it was all worth it.

How do you choose between your passion and a paycheck?

You don’t.

You find a way to make your passion bring you the paychecks and watch your amazing life unfold.

How are you pursuing your passion?

I used to ignore those little orange buttons with a dot and two slanted parentheses. Besides, the words “RSS Feeds” sounded too technical to me.

But when I started blogging actively and reading other people’s blogs too, these handy little buttons became my instant bestfriends.

They did not only save me time, they made my blogging experience so much richer and they proved to be good for my soul too.

This post is divided into two sections: the first one gives a simple explanation of RSS Feeds and subscribing to blogs and the second part is where I share the blogs on my RSS reader that “feed” me.

If you’re a blog expert or you already use a feed reader, you can skip this part.

What is RSS?

RSS stands for Really Simple Syndication. And the simplest way to explain it is: RSS allows you to receive updates from your favorite blogs or information resources as soon as they publish.

If you’re a voracious blog reader, this would be the easiest way to keep up to date.

But it gets better than that when you use a feedreader.

What is a feedreader?

A feed reader is a tool that fetches all the blog and website updates and gathers them neatly for you all in one place.

Think of it like a dog that fetches your morning newspaper.

There more popular feed readers are: Google Reader, Bloglines and Netvibes.

For ease of use and convenience, I suggest you use Google Reader if you already have a Gmail account. According to a survey by Problogger, Google is the top feed reader too.

The good thing about this is you receive information almost in real time but you can read them for later too because Google Reader will just keep them there for you.

Another neat thing about a feed reader is you can organize your feeds into different folders. I like to organize my feeds like these:

Plus, you can place a star next to your favorite blog posts so you can easily retrieve them if you want to read them again.

Why should I subscribe?

1. You get information fast for free.

2. You save time from typing one url after another (only to discover the blogger hasn’t written a new post!)

3. You can access the posts and information you want, anytime you want, all in one place.

How do I subscribe?

There are three ways to subscribe:

1. Click the link “Add Subscription” inside you feedreader and enter the url of the blog or website you want to be subscribed to.

2. When you’re on the blog’s home page, click on the RSS button and it will prompt you to choose what reader you’re using. Most bloggers and websites place them at the top of the page or at a very prominent location. They can come in different colors and shapes now but the symbol remains the same.

You can also subscribe by email and it will work just as well. Most websites provide this option just next to the RSS button.

3. If you’re using Firefox 3, just click on the RSS icon on the web browser and it will prompt you to choose your feed reader.

If you’re a blogger, make sure to subscribe to your own feed and you’ll have an instant archive back up just in case something in your blog goes awry.

The “RSS Feed Stars” in my reader

I have 94 blogs in my feed reader and I continue to add more everyday.

I love reading different kinds of blogs because whether they’re writing about blogging or personal development, each blogger has a wealth of wisdom to share made special by their unique experience.

And somehow, even if you’re actually strangers and thousands of miles away, reading other people’s blogs gives you that feeling of “connectedness.”

When you read about a blogger who writes about his dreams, you feel that someone out there shares the same dreams and aspirations as you have.

When you see that they bravely pursue their passion, you are inspired to pursue your passion knowing that someone has done it.

And when you learn that they’ve achieved their goals, it encourages you to go for success too.

I always turn to my Google Reader for a daily dose of inspiration and motivation.. And whenever I find a blog gem that really shines from among all the items there, I always give it a star.

Here are some of the starred items in my reader that I read again and again:

1. Problogger

• How to find your passion and what you should be blogging about

2. Christine Kane

• 22 Ways to shine your inner bling
• How to be an extreme encourager

3. Put Things Off

• Find your love: Discover your life’s calling today

4. Rock Your Day

• Wake Up, Damn It! You Won’t Get A Second Chance

5. Steve Pavlina

• How to earn your first love dollar
• How to create a fulfilling career
• Money and the Law of Attraction

6. Think Simple Now

• How to motivate yourself to massive action

7. Zenhabits

• Five things you need to know about finding the work you love
• The ultimate guide to motivation: how to achieve any goal

8. Pearsonified

• How to find your creative zen
• How to kiss corporate life goodbye

9. The Positivity Blog

• John Lennon’s Top 3 tips for getting what you want in life

10. Lifehack

• 10 skills you need to succeed at almost anything

Share with me

What do you think? Did any of these spark a light inside you?

If you’ve got a blog or post you want to share, let me know in the comments section below so I can have a look and read.

Remember to keep it relevant and positive.

If you liked this post and you want to share this passion journey with me, feel free to subscribe via my blog’s RSS feed or via email. Just enter your email adds in the form at the sidebar.

I’d be happy to inspire you everyday.

I felt like a kid again and I wanted to jump as high as I could too.

But when I looked at this picture…

The light and happy feeling seemed to fade away.

How images influence our feelings and actions

Try observing how you feel and act while watching a horror flick.

Don’t you cringe and squint your eyes just as the psychotic villain wields a sharp axe aimed at the victim’s neck? (Okay, I just imagined this one.)

Compare it to how you feel while watching a feel-good movie.

Don’t you feel a tingle in your stomach when Sarah finally meets John in the ice rink in a perfect example of Serendipity?

Maybe you have a high tolerance for gory films or you don’t get swept away by romantic movies. But I’m pretty sure you felt so much better after watching a feel – good movie.

Oftentimes, we tend to identify with what we see. And although we know that what we’re watching is only happening in the reel world, a part of us feels like it’s happening for real.

This illustrates how powerful images can influence our feelings and actions.

And we can use this power to empower ourselves too.

Power up yourself with visualization

I always try to start my morning right and keep a positive attitude throughout the day.

And one of the ways I use to charge myself up in the morning is by watching The Secret’s “The Secret to You” visualization video.

You can download this video for free at the The Secret website.

This video gives me goosebumps every time and I always feel so infused with energy just watching it.

I always say the words out loud and when nobody’s in the room, I shout the last line at the of my lungs!

Try it and feel how empowering it is.

Pick yourself up with beautiful photos

When I feel down, one of the quick ways I pick myself up is by looking at beautiful photos.

I especially like looking at beaches, then I close my lids and I imagine I’m far away in that paradise.

But the magic doesn’t end even after I open my eyes because those lovely images leave me with some positive vibes that I can carry with me to fight the blues.

Head on over to Flickr where you can find loads of fantastic and amazing photos. Most of them can be downloaded so try picking one and make it your desktop’s screensaver so you can have a quick relaxing fix when you need to take a break from work. Or print it out and hang it in your room so you can see it every time you wake up.

Motivate yourself with your own motivational posters

There’s a neat tool at Big Huge Labs called the Motivator where you can create your own motivational poster in minutes.

Just like this:

(Photo was by Tutuwon and the text was my own.)

If you’re a Photoshop whiz or you’re good with art, create your own motivational poster, print it and post it where you can see it everyday. Try using your own picture so you’ll have a clear image of your motivated self everytime you look at it.

Surround yourself with positive images

Whether you’re at home or at your workplace, make sure to surround yourself with beautiful and positive images. Choose images that really speak to you and evoke that empowering feeling.

Remember that even if you can’t always control the things that happen around you, you can control how you react to and feel about them.

People and situations can bring you down only if you allow them to.

And using images is just one way you can empower yourself.

What do you do to empower yourself? Do you have a method or a trick that really worked to boost you? I’d love to hear about them.

Have you been constantly waiting for everything to be in place before you go after your dream?

Have you been extremely obsessing for everything to be just right?

Have you been over planning for everything to be just perfect?

If you answered “yes” to all three, knock yourself on the head and face the truth: Nothing will ever be perfect.

So stop waiting, obsessing and planning and start doing!

Always aiming for perfection does not help help you to achieve your dream, but accepting imperfection does.

My desire for perfection almost killed my dream

Next month, this blog turns one year old and I realized how it has suffered from my excessive desire for perfection. You see I wanted to make this blog my dream blog, my passion project through which I would fulfill my grand dreams.

I wanted to make it the best and the greatest. I wanted it to be perfect. So I got busy checking out other blogs admiring how flawless their posts were written and how perfect their blog designs looked.

I was constantly watching and admiring others while I was thinking and planning on how I can do it myself.

I was obsessing about what to write, which posts get published when and what features the site will have. I read and studied other bloggers writing style and how much impact it made on their readers.

And don’t even get me started talking about blog design. I spent countless hours searching for blog themes, tweaking codes, loading them up in my blog, deleting them then starting over. Nothing seemed to look right.

Meanwhile, my blog stayed dormant and neglected.

Eventually, I felt drained with all the planning and thinking I did that I ran out of energy to do anything.

After a year of chasing perfection, I ended up accomplishing close to nothing. I felt so frustrated at myself that I wanted to just forget the whole thing and dump the whole idea into the waste bin.

Thinking and planning is good because it guides you to achieve your goals. But if you overthink and overplan so much so that it becomes a hindrance rather than a motivator, STOP! Just go ahead and do it the best you way you can now.

Striving for perfection is good because it moves you to exert your best effort. But if your perfect-shun-ism makes you shun doing anything for fear of making a mistake and gets you stuck in the hole of procrastination, it’s time to throw it into the trash basket and start taking action now.

Accept your imperfections

We won’t always get it right the first time and that’s okay. Doing something and making a mistake will get you closer to your dream than just planning and doing nothing.

Stop planning perfectly and start doing it imperfectly. Then you open yourself up for improvement: you’ll know what you did good and how to do it better the next time

The important thing is you take action now then improve yourself later.

And that’s what I’m doing now.

As Be Passiotive marks its first blog new year in September, I’m kickstarting it again now with this blog post.

And I intend to fuel this blog with all my imperfect writings about how I’m learning and trying to live a positive life while passionately pursuing my dreams.

I’m sure there are a lot of other things I could have done to make this comeback post perfect to read but this is the best I can do now.

The good thing about it is, you can help me and other readers of this post by sharing your thoughts or suggestions about it.

Feel free to share in the comments section below.

Before you leave, I will leave you with two questions and two action steps.

Questions to ask yourself:
Is your perfectionism holding you back from your dream?
What one action can you do that can take you a step closer to your dream?

Action step to do now:
Take time to reflect on the two questions stated above.
Act on your answer to question 2 and just do it. Now.

It sounds quite easy, doesn’t it? It seems like the ultimate fantasy.

I have often fantasized about freeing a genie and getting three wishes. But I thought I’d use one wish to wish for infinite wishes so I can ask for everything that I want.

What if a genie actually appeared and told me, “You now have infinite wishes, ask me everything you want!”

What will I ask for?

When I sat down to list everything I want in my life, it took me quite a long time to get through it.

Surprisingly, it was harder than I thought.

Some of us have vague ideas of what we want because we were unconsciously conditioned to forget them or give them up.

When we were kids, our parents often passed down their preferences to us. Of course, it’s always because they want what’s best for us.

But sometimes, the side effect is we tend to set aside what we want and think our preferences are not as good or important.

The pink watch and the black watch

When my parents took me to the store to buy my first wristwatch, Mama chose a watch with a black leather strap for me. Since she has been choosing my stuff for me since I was born, I’m sure she did it out of habit.

But I was already forming my own tastes then and I wanted a watch with a pink rubber strap.

Mama insisted on the black watch since it looked classic, it won’t easily get soiled and it would go with most of my clothes. She said the pink watch looked nice but it would probably get dirty easily and it won’t match most of my clothes.

At this point, Papa intervened and asked me if I really wanted the pink watch. I said yes and he said I could have it because I was the one who was going to wear it anyway.

Of course, Mama was right. After a few weeks, my pink watch got dirty and I couldn’t wear it with some of my clothes. But it still didn’t beat the happiness I felt from getting what I really wanted.

Eventually, when the time came to get a new watch, I opted for a classic black one. This time, it was my choice.

The lesson: I should choose what I really want because my preferences matter. But in the end, if what I wanted didn’t work out for me, I am free to change my mind.

The Jeer Leaders versus the Cheer Leaders

Other times, we know what we want but we are too scared to ask for it.

Why?

We tend to listen to jeer leaders jumping around in our heads.

When I began making my “I want…” list, the jeer leaders furiously attacked me with their negative ammo:

Who do you think you are to ask for that?

You don’t deserve to get what you want!

Your dreams won’t come true!

You’re setting yourself up for disappointment!

You’re a loser!

Sound familiar?

Isn’t it ironic how we shoot down our own dreams and visions?

We don’t ask for what we want because we feel we don’t deserve to have them.

So how do you fight the jeer leaders?

Bring out your inner cheer leaders!

You are somebody!

You deserve to get what you want in your life!

Your dreams will come true!

You are setting yourself up for success!

You’re a winner!

I’m sure the jeer leaders will fight for their space in your head but you can always choose to throw them out and let the cheer leaders boost your confidence.

I emphasize the word choose because I believe everyone has the power of choice.

Okay, perhaps we won’t get everything we want but, when that happens, we have two choices on how to react:

1. To see it as proof that we don’t deserve to have the best things in life
2. To see it as a sign that there is something better in store for us

We are free to choose what we want to believe, because whatever we believe becomes our truth.

Now which would you rather be true for you?

Go ahead and try it

Take out your journal or a piece of paper and write everything you want to have in your life.

Write everything and anything that comes to mind.

Write continuously. Write freely.

Keep the list and read it often to remind you of the wonderful things and amazing life in store for you.

When you doubt if what you want is even possible to achieve, remember that famous Adidas tagline:

Impossible is nothing.

Let me add my own tagline extension:

Possible is everything!

photo credit: Guille.

I looked outside the window, the skies were blue and there was a soft breeze blowing on my face. It looked like a wonderful day. But for some reason, I felt so heavy as I dragged my feet to the bathroom to get ready for work.

It was like I was operating on auto-pilot as I took a shower, brushed my teeth and got dressed. For me, it was just the beginning of another dragging day.

“What am I doing with my life? Why am I here?”

Have you ever gone through that time when every waking day was such a drag? You feel tired even before your work has begun. Nothing seems to go right and all you want is just to get through the day.

I used to go through my days aimlessly. I allowed myself to fall into a routine and thought I’d just go wherever life takes me.

But what I didn’t realize was I was missing out on having an amazing and wonderful life.

Once I started believing that I was meant for something greater than an automatic work robot, I realized that I needed to determine why I was here.

What was I put on Earth to do?

One day I received a message from a friend that I kept in my phone’s inbox for years. It was one of those random things that turned out to be an important spark for me to realize my life’s purpose. The message read:

“You always say the right things, you always inspire me. You are my angel.”

I had an “aha!” moment. I realized that one of my purposes in life is to inspire people. I am passionate about positivity and self-growth. And whenever my friends come to me for advice, I always try to rub off some of my passion and positivity on them.

But more than just inspiring people, I want to empower them to be the best versions of themselves and to live their best life ever.

One of the best life purpose exercises I came across was the one made by Arnold Patent published in Jack Canfield’s book Success Principles.

Patent’s life purpose exercise is composed of just four steps:
1. List down two of your unique personal qualities.
2. List down two ways you can express those qualities.
3. List down how you envision a perfect world is like.
4. Combine your answers to form your mission statement.

With the help of this exercise, I crafted my life purpose:

To use my passion and positivity to inspire and to empower people to passionately pursue their dreams, to live loving and positive lives, to enjoy success and to experience true happiness.

Why is having a purpose important?

Having a life purpose is important because it will serve as a guide for your actions.

Whenever you do something, ask yourself if it is in accordance with your purpose. This will help you to see your direction more clearly. Everything you do will have a reason and you’ll find that your days become more meaningful.

Waking up with a purpose also helps to energize you because a new day signals another chance for you to fulfill what you were meant to do and to become what you were meant to be.

What is your purpose?

Remember that each one of us has a purpose.

I have a purpose.

(Repeat that statement to yourself. Shout it out if you want.)

Embrace this fact and know that you are a unique human being endowed with talents and skills that will fulfill what you are meant to do and be.

When you’ve figured out what your passion is, you will tend to go in two directions: either you feel so fired up and raring to get moving or you feel so overwhelmed and your fear of starting a big thing leads to procrastination.

Lucky you if you took the first direction.

As for me, I got overwhelmed.

I mentioned before that this blog is part of my efforts to pursue my passion. But just when I was starting to think of all the great possibilities this blog held for me, I felt like I was flooded with so many ideas that I drowned into procrastination.

For weeks, I was content with staying under the water, scared to see what I needed to do or who I needed to be.

But I knew I couldn’t stay there for long if I wanted to get somewhere, so I pushed myself up and got my head out of the water.

Where do I begin?

Going on any journey begins with one step and if you persist to take the following steps after that, you will soon get to your destination.

Step 1: Set a specific goal that fulfills your passion.

You can start with a small goal or you can set a big goal, whatever it is, make it very specific. This will help you to chart the next steps and to focus your efforts.

For example, if you are very passionate about writing, instead of saying “I want to be a writer,” think about what kind of writer you want to be, what you’d like to write or where you want your writing to be published.

What excites you? Is it being a lifestyle magazine writer, a fiction writer, or a blogger? Do you want to publish an article in a local newspaper, accomplish a best-selling novel about whirlwind romance or blog for a channel of a big blog network?

You have to be decisive about what you want.

I’m pretty sure those little critics in your head will start to say “Who are you to even dream that?” “That’s impossible!” “You can’t do it.” Mute them right away. Better yet, throw them out the window.

You know what the truth is:

You are somebody and you can dream anything.

Your dream is possible.

You can do it.

Step 2: Break it down really small.

When you’ve specified your goal, it’s time to draw up an action plan. Make a list of the tasks you need to do to accomplish your goal.

If you’re a self-confessed procrastinator, break down your tasks really, really small. Oftentimes, we put off doing things when they seem too big for us. But when we start with small tasks first, they build up one over the other until the whole task is accomplished.

Taking off from the example above, let’s say your specific goal is you want to be a lifestyle magazine writer, your set of tasks could be:

1. Search for tips on writing lifestyle magazine articles.
2. Read tips on writing lifestlye magazine articles.
3. Make a list of topics for possible magazine articles.
4. Pick a topic for a possible magazine article.
5. Write an outline for your chosen topic.
6. Write the article.
7. Review and proofread the article.
8. Search for magazines that accept contributions.
9. Call the magazine’s publishing company and ask for submission requirements.
10. Accomplish submission requirements.
11. Submit your work.

Just do one thing at a time then when you’ve worked your way through your list, start over.

Step 3: Make time.

Now you know what to do, make time to do it.

Remember this is your dream and this is just as important as any paying job you are engaged in.

Oftentimes, we convince ourselves that we are too busy to do this or we don’t have time. But the fact is, we’re just hiding behind our busy-ness because we’re scared to start what could possibly be a big thing.

Dump the “I don’t have time” excuse. You have plenty of time if you decide to manage it wisely. Whether it’s waking up earlier in the morning, setting aside your lunch break or sleeping later at night, you can find time to do the things that matter to you.

Set a realistic time frame for yourself. Don’t boldly proclaim “I’ll write this article in one day” and beat yourself up when you don’t finish it.

Make an honest assessment of your skills and determine how much time you’ll really need. Some tasks will naturally take longer than others. Once you’ve set your time frame, do your damn best to stick to it.

You might see all those successful people and marvel at their wonderful lives. If you’re wondering how they got there, one of the things they did was to make time to do what it takes to be there.

If you’re wondering why they’re up there and you’re still stuck here, it’s because you chose to just watch them.

Stop watching other people live their dreams and start living your own!

Prepare to face two enemies

When you start gaining momentum in pursuing your passion, you have to prepare to face two enemies: procrastination and rejection.

Procrastination hits everyone every time, but you don’t need to be it’s victim.

When you find yourself procrastinating, return to your list of tasks and do just one thing.

Remember, do just one thing.

When you’ve finished that one task, bask in the feeling of accomplishment and use that to rev up your momentum.

As for rejection, don’t take it personally.

When we get rejected, we tend to spiral down into the self-pity pit and think “I’m not good enough” thoughts. Stop right there!

Accept the fact that you cannot satisfy every one’s needs and there will be times when you don’t fit the bill. That doesn’t mean that your talent amounts to nothing. It just means you haven’t found the right match or the right market for your skill. Just keep on trying.

When your work is criticized, listen only to what is constructive, take what will help you improve your craft and discard all the rest. Then try again.

Just take it one step at a time

Step 1: Set a specific goal that fulfills your passion. It’s okay to start small.

Step 2: Break it down really small and list down all the tasks you need to do to achieve your goal.

Step 3: Make time to accomplish your tasks and make sure that the time frame you set is realistic for you.

When pursuing your passion, remember that it’s like taking the stairs, just take it one step at a time and you’ll find yourself at the top soon enough.

Credits:
Fork in the road: photo credit: tonystl
Goals: photo credit: stilllearninghowtofly – W W Tribe Psychiatrist
Lists: photo credit: Swiv
Time: photo credit: * Cati Kaoe *
Stairway to heaven: photo credit: Curnen

I asked my friend once when we were having dinner.

“You know what, I haven’t really thought about it. Why do you ask?”

“Well, ” I said, “It just occurred to me that we’ve been working for the past six years and I just thought if this is what we really want to be doing for the rest of our lives.”

What is passion?

In my first post about this site, I found several meanings of passion.

And in my personal quest for passion, I’ve come up with my own definitions.

Passion drives you to do something and be somebody.

When you tap into your passion, it just infuses you with this tremendous energy and power. It fills you with confidence so that you can say to yourself, “I can be somebody.”

Passion is something you get excited about.

Your passion gives you that thrilling sensation. It brings you that natural high that moves you to do more and be more.

Passion is something you enjoy doing.

In fact, you enjoy doing it so much, you lose track of time when you do it. No matter the effort involved, it still feels effortless and it’s almost as if you don’t get tired at all.

Passion is something you’re good at.

You’ll find that your interests veer toward your passion. More than that, you’ll find that you are equipped to pursue your passion because your skills and talents are geared to fulfill it.

Are you beginning to form an idea of what your passion is?

Most people have a vague idea about their passion while some don’t even know what it is.

Most of the time, we have a tendency to fall into the rat race. We work tirelessly because we need to earn money. Sometimes (maybe most of the time), we don’t even like our jobs. Then we get burned out and feel that our life is going nowhere.

At one point, I realized that if I wanted to turn my life around, I needed to get serious about pursuing my passion.

I didn’t want to look back at my life and see how I’ve wasted years just earning money, scraping by to get a living when I haven’t really lived my life.

I realized that taking the time to find my passion was an important step in the journey to personal success.

So I made an honest evaluation of myself, answered some questions and let my ideas flow.

Once I found out what my passion was, the purpose of my life became clearer.

Why is passion important?

Passion helps us find our purpose.

This is one of the most important reasons for you to find your passion.

Passion and purpose are partners.

When you know what your passion is, you know what you can share to the world and it stimulates to find ways how to share it.

Waking up in the morning becomes more meaningful because you now have a vision. You begin to understand why you are here.

Passion helps to chart your direction.

When you have a vision, you develop a mission. You can see where you want to go, so you can start to plot how to get there. Now that you have a goal, you can determine the steps to achieve it.

Passion gives you fulfillment.

When you live your life according to your purpose, you feel fulfilled. When you know that you’ve possibly helped somebody or inspired someone by what you do, you begin to feel a deeper sense of who you are and what you are meant to do. And you just feel how wonderful life really is.

Passion makes you happy.

Fulfillment makes you happy because it makes you feel grateful for who you are and for how the world brings out the best in you.

How do you find your passion?

Finding one’s passion maybe easier for some more than others.

If you have a talent for singing and you love to perform on stage, for example, you passion may be more obvious, even automatic.

For others, it may take a series of introspections, mistakes and small discoveries before they can figure out what their passion is.

If you’re one of those who can’t figure our their passion just yet, don’t worry. It doesn’t mean you don’t have it. It’s just there waiting to be discovered,

When you decide that you’re ready to find your passion, you will need the following:

1. Some alone time in a quiet place. Early morning and late evening work best for me. Whatever time and place you pick, make sure you’re free from external pressures, deadlines and other distractions.
2. A pen and paper. Write down your ideas and thoughts. Writing helps to clear your head, to put some structure to your wayward thoughts and to free your thinking. Seeing your thoughts on paper also helps you to visualize them better.
3. Anything that motivates or inspires you. Mood music, a good book, a photograph. These can help you unlock your deepest memories, your loftiest dreams and your innermost desires all of which can lead you to discover your passion.
4. Honesty. This is one of the most important things you’ll need to know your passion, You need to be true to yourself and what you really want. No holds barred,

Questions to help unlock your passion

To help unlock your passion, I will share with you some key questions I have used to find mine:

1. What excites me?
2. What am I good at ?
3. What are my talents and skills?
4. What do I love to do?
5. What have I always wanted to be?
6. Who are the people I admire?
7. How do I want to see myself 20 years from now?
8. How do I want to be remembered when I die?

If you can’t answer these questions all at once, let them brew in your mind if you need to.

Be in tune with yourself, observe your surroundings and take cues from your daily experiences.

The answers may just hit your suddenly. Be patient and the answers will come.

Be warned though that when you finally find your passion, it might occupy your mind, drive your days and throw you in for an adventure that’s big, exciting and scary all at the same time.

Of course, knowing your passion is just the first step. Pursuing it and fulfilling it will certainly require some effort.

But when you do, the results can be life-changing. It can give you a life more wonderful and more amazing than you ever imagined.